I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
