just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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