:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
