Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize