Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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