I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
