Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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