I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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