I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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