he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I pour the whiskey from now on
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize