Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
