it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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