i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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