So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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