omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize