you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
True strength comes from lack of pants
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize