I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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