I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
