Can Purell be used as lube?
there's paper in my vomit.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
