Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
