like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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