Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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