white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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