flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize