The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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