She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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