Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
