you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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