I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
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