did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
