update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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