You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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