Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize