i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
