Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
do herpes really smell.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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