Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I touched a dick in church today
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
