did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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