Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
