Don't you send me to vm
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
