woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize