I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
