mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
