what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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