My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
