I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
