Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
