I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hippo gnu deer
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
