Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
