Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just puked most of my soul out..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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