i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize