when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
