i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
