I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
