Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
