Can Purell be used as lube?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
