i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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