I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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