And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
