I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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