I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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