At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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